Not Your Mother's Rules: The New Secrets for Dating by Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider

Author:Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider [Fein, Ellen & Schneider, Sherrie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Family & Relationships, Love & Romance
ISBN: 9781455512584
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2013-01-08T00:00:00+00:00

Rule #16 ____________

Don’t Lose Your Friends Because You’re So Obsessed with a Guy!

WOMEN WHO BREAK The Rules with guys do not make the best girlfriends. They are usually so busy texting or talking about the guy that they either ignore their friends or bore them to death. And if they have a crush on a guy who isn’t even interested in them, they become delusional and expect their friends to lie to them as well. Haven’t you ever been with a friend who was in the middle of a textfest or instant-message chat with a guy? You feel like you’re with a zombie! She is physically with you, but mentally a million miles away. If you are a Rules Girl, you try to nicely nudge her to get off the phone for her own sake (and yours!) but she totally ignores you, or holds up a finger to signal one more minute or mouths, “Almost done.” But then another ten minutes go by and then twenty or thirty. It’s frustrating, to say the least. If you left the room, she would hardly notice or miss you. She’s obsessed!

Of course, girls who do The Rules aren’t this kind of friend. They end texting chats quickly. They don’t dump girlfriends for a last-minute date or hookup. They don’t force roommates to endure a guy sleeping in their room every night. They don’t flirt with their friend’s crush. They do have boundaries and self-respect!

As you know by now, it’s a good thing for a guy to see that you are too busy to be thinking about him and contacting him constantly. Well, what are you so busy with all this time? Your girlfriends! You have a full life with training sessions, trips to Bloomingdale’s, and potluck dinners! Maybe you get together with Rules-minded friends and meet every week for coffee or Chinese food (like we used to!) and discuss your dating problems over lattes or dim sum. We are big believers in talking with your BFFs so you don’t act out with guys. You can ask a friend what to give a guy you just met for Valentine’s Day (nothing!) so you don’t end up writing hearts on his wall or buying him a mouse pad with your photo on it.

Women who are obsessed with guys really test the patience of their friends. They are so busy posting, “Happy 14-day anniversary!” on their new boyfriend’s Facebook page that they hardly hear anything their friends say. No matter what the conversation is—midterms or the Middle East—these non-Rules Girls manage to bring up the guy. “I’m really sorry your mother’s in the hospital. I hope she feels better soon. Did I tell you Jay’s mom is a doctor? Jay is thinking about going to medical school. He just doesn’t know if he wants to be an internist or a cardiologist.” These women seem to have blinders on. They can’t think about anything or anyone else, and this makes them downright rude or even obnoxious to their friends.

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